Unlock Stories, Memories, and Clues by Talking with Your Loved Ones
In the age of online databases and DNA tests, it’s easy to overlook one of the richest sources of family history: your living relatives. Speaking directly with parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and even siblings can reveal deep personal insights that no document ever could. From forgotten family traditions to key details about births, migrations, or name changes, interviewing relatives can dramatically enhance your genealogical research.
This guide will show you how to prepare for, conduct, and preserve meaningful interviews with relatives — and give you dozens of questions to spark real stories and emotional connections.
Why Talking to Family Matters
Your living relatives often carry information that hasn’t been recorded anywhere. Their memories can help you:
Fill in missing dates, names, and places
Learn about events not found in public records
Discover family legends, traditions, and language
Understand relationships and personal histories
Build emotional connections across generations
Oral history adds a vital human layer to genealogy — voices, values, and experiences. But the clock is ticking. Every year, elderly relatives take untold stories with them. Don’t wait.
Preparing for the Interview
A successful family history interview begins with good preparation. Here’s how to get started:
1. Choose the Right Person
Start with older relatives or those known to have strong memories of past generations. Don’t overlook cousins or in-laws — sometimes they hold key stories too.
2. Set Expectations
Let them know:
Why you’re asking to interview them
What you plan to ask
How the information will be used
That nothing will be shared without permission
This builds trust and comfort.
3. Pick a Comfortable Setting
Quiet, relaxed environments work best. In-person is ideal, but video calls also work well.
Have water, snacks, and maybe some family photos on hand.
4. Bring the Right Tools
Voice recorder or phone (with permission)
Notepad or tablet
Family tree printout, documents, or heirlooms to jog memory
A list of flexible, open-ended questions
The Art of Interviewing: Techniques that Work
Be an Active Listener
Let the person speak without interruption. Nod, smile, and gently prompt with questions like, “Tell me more,” or “What happened next?”
Stay Flexible
You may start with one topic and end up somewhere unexpected — let it flow. Follow stories and emotions.
Ask Open-Ended Questions
Avoid yes/no questions. Use:
“What was it like when…?”
“Can you describe…?”
“How did that feel?”
“What do you remember about…?”
Be Respectful of Sensitive Topics
Topics like loss, divorce, war, or trauma can be difficult. If someone hesitates, reassure them that it’s okay not to answer.
50+ Interview Questions to Discover Your Family’s Past
Here’s a comprehensive list, grouped by topic:
Personal Background
When and where were you born?
What was your full name at birth?
Did you have any nicknames as a child?
What do you remember about your parents?
Childhood
What games did you play as a child?
What was your home like?
Did you have chores?
What kind of food did you eat growing up?
School and Work
Where did you go to school?
What subjects did you enjoy?
What was your first job?
Did you follow a family trade?
Love and Marriage
How did you meet your spouse?
What was your wedding like?
How many children did you have?
What was your favorite part of raising kids?
Family Traditions
How did your family celebrate holidays?
Were there special meals or recipes?
What music did your family enjoy?
Did your family have religious practices?
Family Migration and Travel
Did your family move often?
Do you know where our ancestors came from?
Did anyone in the family travel far from home?
Military Service
Did you serve in the military?
What was basic training like?
Did you see combat?
What did you do after discharge?
Cultural Identity
What languages did your family speak?
Were there customs passed down from your heritage?
Do you remember any folk stories or songs?
Family Stories
Are there any funny or memorable family stories?
Who were the characters or black sheep in the family?
What’s the biggest family mystery you’ve heard?
Life Challenges and Achievements
What was the hardest time in your life?
What are you most proud of?
What advice would you give younger generations?
Recording, Preserving, and Sharing
After the interview, don’t let the information gather dust. Here’s what to do next:
Transcribe the Conversation
Type out the audio while it’s fresh. Use tools like:
Otter.ai
Descript
Google Docs voice typing
Highlight names, places, and dates for follow-up research.
Organize the Data
Create folders or digital files sorted by person or topic. Add details to your family tree, notes, or research logs.
Preserve the Voices
Save audio in MP3 or WAV formats
Back it up to cloud storage and an external drive
Label with date and name of the interviewee
Share with Family
Make a small printed memory book
Create a digital archive for relatives
Use audio clips in a family history video or website
Interview Tips for Different Family Members
Elderly Relatives
Go slow; don’t rush them
Speak clearly and listen patiently
Ask about events from their youth or “the old country”
Parents
Ask about your own early childhood
Get perspective on their parents and siblings
Record their hopes for the next generation
Siblings and Cousins
Compare memories of the same events
Share photos and collect alternate perspectives
Fill in blanks from different branches of the family
Bonus: Using Photos and Artifacts
Sometimes showing an old photo, letter, or heirloom can unlock hidden memories.
Ask:
Who is in this photo?
What’s the story behind this object?
Do you remember where this was taken?
Visual cues can open up rich storytelling that verbal prompts can’t.
Respect, Empathy, and Gratitude
Interviewing family isn’t just a research task — it’s an act of connection. Honor their time, stories, and emotions.
Always:
Ask for permission before sharing
Thank them genuinely
Offer to share your finished results
Conclusion: Every Story Counts
Genealogy isn’t just about facts and dates. It’s about people — their dreams, struggles, and choices. Interviews preserve this humanity in a way no database ever could.
So pick up the phone. Visit that aunt. Ask your grandfather what his childhood was like. Every story you record today may be the most meaningful gift you pass on tomorrow.